Friday, October 9, 2009

Fear & self-loathing.

I am so angry and mad and disappointed in myself.
I have eaten so badly this week. It completely undid all of the healthy choices I made last week. & tonight? We just ordered pizza - one of the foods I have ZERO CONTROL around.
I have been really really sick, & really stressed about three assignments being due in. This has made me so lazy about food preparation & planning.
Combined with this is the fact that I have quit smoking - I haven't had a cigarette since Sunday night. No cravings or anything, but it is scientifically proven that it makes you hungrier & stuff. If I had actually planned healthy things to snack on when I did get hungry, it would be fine.
But I didn't.

I keep skipping breakfast, which means I'm hungrier all day, & tend to snack in the afternoon.
I haven't done any exercise because I have had no energy & no time! But I should have scheduled everything more effectively so that I did.

I am so angry. I have been dreading posting because I didn't want to really face up to it. But I have to. & I also have to start taking photos of what I eat because often I forget what I have actually eaten!

BUT in saying this, tomorrow is a new day. Next week is a new week. It doesn't all end here.
I have learnt important things this week. I can combat these things & make everything better.

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